Call in the Reinforcements

Yesterday was my birthday. I thought of asking for a Jazz win in San Antonio. But I might as well have asked for the sun to rise in the West. Watching the game I couldn’t help but think of the press tirade of Rick Patino when he coached the Celtics. In that rant he began yelling about his players’ lackluster effort. “Robert Parrish ain’t comin’ through that door!” he cried. “Larry Bird ain’t walkin’ through that door!” I was thinking that maybe Jazz coach Jerry Sloan should employ the same tirade. Because guess what: John Stockton ain’t walkin’ through that door.


A friend of mine received an e-mail from his ticket agent. He is a season ticket holder, and she was asking him if he wanted playoff tickets. In order to do so, she explained, he would need to buy his season tickets for next year. He responded, telling her that he didn’t want them. She replied, asking if he didn’t want the season tickets, or the playoff tickets. Both, he answered. She again came calling, asking what she could do to keep him as a valued season ticket holder. “Get some players on the floor that care as much as the people in the seats.” He responded. He hasn’t heard back.


I think the Jazz need to change their ads for the playoffs. They just need to say, “Get your playoff tickets so you can see the Lakers come to town not once, but twice. Get them now, because it will be a long summer.”